Sunday, August 28, 2005
i thot...
i thot i would just publish all... who cares.
Anyway.. after calming down abit.. I dun feel that crappy already...
Let me just update you with my life.. maybe tt would help me smile and allow you to understand me better?
Today its Daddy's birthday! Wells.. its been so fast.. he is already 50! I could even remember daddy's burfday last year! aniwae.. I love my family bah. really appreciate them. I dun like to curse my family like some others do. I can't wait for dad to receive Salvation.. but I guess.. Its so messy la.
Sis went church today.. how I wish she can find herself in tune with God soon! Just wished so much to see that she is able to worship.. and desire to worship God. Just prayed that she will desire to pray.. to love.. to learn.. to grow.. to want in God!
The burden n responsibility of taking up this family.. is feeling heavy already..
I started thinking about how to go about earning money? should I even like get myself not so involved in church and crusade?? wondering.. wad will happen if my family have no financial income anymore. no money for my school fees.. no money for my everything. What should my response be???
I guess.. i dropped God out of the picture already.. shouldn't I trust him for finance? shouldn't I believe that he will bless my household? shouldn't I offer the burden to God? oh wells.. these just dun sound rite...
Tokking about God, links me back to church and crusade...
i've signed up for Metamorphosis Camp this year with Crusade... from 4-8 October. Wells.. i'm really feeling hesitant about it after I realised the financial part of my family is not doing well. But i've paid for the camp..its 120... i paid 75 already.. I dun understand ya. this is not making me feel well.. hais.
Crusade wans me to commit 13-15 october for planning retreat? should i shld go ahead and work??? oh craps...
I really feel crappy.. where can I work?? what can I earn?? bleahxz...
Church side.. I handed in a form today.. guess wad is it? its baptism form. I just duno wad to say la.. I signed up for it without asking my dad.. I only tell mum. I dun wish to see my dad's reaction.. i'm so scared.. so afraid to face it. hai...
I know God's gift of mercy is to feel for the people.. feel for the work of the holy spirit. I can only say.. this gift i have..causes me to have passion for people.. for God's work.. Somehow I think tt i can't do anything rite except his work.
Recently, the case of Doreen's makes me feel exceptionally stronger for Fairfield. I want to do sth for them. I wish to be able to commit. I can't! why? coz i have other work at hand.
Today i wanted to tok to donovan abt me quitting worship team.. but i guess i still didn't in the end. I only told Gra.. I wonder how did the process went. I guess she shld have told wee teck by now. but wells.. I really duno la.. feels wierd and irresponsible of me.. not telling myself. feels like i'm just running away...
Crusade isn't all that busy for me la.. but its not like.. the lightest job on earth too. i duno lah....
I dun understand why.. i've been telling sharon n sheow en that they may approach me for help or even other stuff.. it is coz i feel neglected or is it coz i wan to serve but not given a chance??
aiya.. this is not going anywhere... can't believe when i'm not feeling the best in the world.... I have to like face problems..
I guess.. my nonsenscial moody swings.. affect how I treat dan alot. haiz.. I duno lahz.. guess i haven't been a gd gurl. and when dan says dun worry.. nvm. It totally makes me feel is my fault.. got me more worked up. crapz.. certain things are like.. so crappy.. a wrong word used can make me feel horrible. always lidat.. den always irritated.. den have slient treatment... joyce aren't you sick of it???
I know recently your gd fren has alot of moody swings.. probrably she's going thru a hard time too.. and you always say wrong things. When you think bad of others who shoots their mouth off.. you better look at yourself and say you are not any better! Joyce, shouldn't you be more understanding and stuff... oh craps.. If people rather go to others than you.. you better know tt it got sth to do with ur words and temper.. tt's why people dun dare tell you... you can't blame others for being clickish..
you let others feel that you are uncomfortable with them.. den make their bfs getting scolding.. you think is nice arh?? tho i know you dun wan tt to happen.. and its not all the truth.. You nv thot tt they will scold their bf wan lo. but your actions just too lousy la.
Your tears just flow out like streams flowing... everytime you worship. everytime you feel His presence... everything you pray. I know this gift of Mercy is a heavy gift. Learn to give it back to God ok? Dun be troubled. dun be sad. Rejoice for the Lord is Good.
So many mixed Feelings.. so little time to explain.. I guess even by really the blog.. wouldn't help you understand my feelings.
btw.. today I went to watch AMC Soccer Team. Our church won 1-0! hee.. We got the champion! not bad rite?? hee... =)
Lastly.. Happy Birthday Daniel! Its 12am le!
One more thing.. dun be worried for me.. after reading my blog.. I dun wan you to be sad. coz I am happy.
Anyway.. after calming down abit.. I dun feel that crappy already...
Let me just update you with my life.. maybe tt would help me smile and allow you to understand me better?
Today its Daddy's birthday! Wells.. its been so fast.. he is already 50! I could even remember daddy's burfday last year! aniwae.. I love my family bah. really appreciate them. I dun like to curse my family like some others do. I can't wait for dad to receive Salvation.. but I guess.. Its so messy la.
Sis went church today.. how I wish she can find herself in tune with God soon! Just wished so much to see that she is able to worship.. and desire to worship God. Just prayed that she will desire to pray.. to love.. to learn.. to grow.. to want in God!
The burden n responsibility of taking up this family.. is feeling heavy already..
I started thinking about how to go about earning money? should I even like get myself not so involved in church and crusade?? wondering.. wad will happen if my family have no financial income anymore. no money for my school fees.. no money for my everything. What should my response be???
I guess.. i dropped God out of the picture already.. shouldn't I trust him for finance? shouldn't I believe that he will bless my household? shouldn't I offer the burden to God? oh wells.. these just dun sound rite...
Tokking about God, links me back to church and crusade...
i've signed up for Metamorphosis Camp this year with Crusade... from 4-8 October. Wells.. i'm really feeling hesitant about it after I realised the financial part of my family is not doing well. But i've paid for the camp..its 120... i paid 75 already.. I dun understand ya. this is not making me feel well.. hais.
Crusade wans me to commit 13-15 october for planning retreat? should i shld go ahead and work??? oh craps...
I really feel crappy.. where can I work?? what can I earn?? bleahxz...
Church side.. I handed in a form today.. guess wad is it? its baptism form. I just duno wad to say la.. I signed up for it without asking my dad.. I only tell mum. I dun wish to see my dad's reaction.. i'm so scared.. so afraid to face it. hai...
I know God's gift of mercy is to feel for the people.. feel for the work of the holy spirit. I can only say.. this gift i have..causes me to have passion for people.. for God's work.. Somehow I think tt i can't do anything rite except his work.
Recently, the case of Doreen's makes me feel exceptionally stronger for Fairfield. I want to do sth for them. I wish to be able to commit. I can't! why? coz i have other work at hand.
Today i wanted to tok to donovan abt me quitting worship team.. but i guess i still didn't in the end. I only told Gra.. I wonder how did the process went. I guess she shld have told wee teck by now. but wells.. I really duno la.. feels wierd and irresponsible of me.. not telling myself. feels like i'm just running away...
Crusade isn't all that busy for me la.. but its not like.. the lightest job on earth too. i duno lah....
I dun understand why.. i've been telling sharon n sheow en that they may approach me for help or even other stuff.. it is coz i feel neglected or is it coz i wan to serve but not given a chance??
aiya.. this is not going anywhere... can't believe when i'm not feeling the best in the world.... I have to like face problems..
I guess.. my nonsenscial moody swings.. affect how I treat dan alot. haiz.. I duno lahz.. guess i haven't been a gd gurl. and when dan says dun worry.. nvm. It totally makes me feel is my fault.. got me more worked up. crapz.. certain things are like.. so crappy.. a wrong word used can make me feel horrible. always lidat.. den always irritated.. den have slient treatment... joyce aren't you sick of it???
I know recently your gd fren has alot of moody swings.. probrably she's going thru a hard time too.. and you always say wrong things. When you think bad of others who shoots their mouth off.. you better look at yourself and say you are not any better! Joyce, shouldn't you be more understanding and stuff... oh craps.. If people rather go to others than you.. you better know tt it got sth to do with ur words and temper.. tt's why people dun dare tell you... you can't blame others for being clickish..
you let others feel that you are uncomfortable with them.. den make their bfs getting scolding.. you think is nice arh?? tho i know you dun wan tt to happen.. and its not all the truth.. You nv thot tt they will scold their bf wan lo. but your actions just too lousy la.
Your tears just flow out like streams flowing... everytime you worship. everytime you feel His presence... everything you pray. I know this gift of Mercy is a heavy gift. Learn to give it back to God ok? Dun be troubled. dun be sad. Rejoice for the Lord is Good.
So many mixed Feelings.. so little time to explain.. I guess even by really the blog.. wouldn't help you understand my feelings.
btw.. today I went to watch AMC Soccer Team. Our church won 1-0! hee.. We got the champion! not bad rite?? hee... =)
Lastly.. Happy Birthday Daniel! Its 12am le!
One more thing.. dun be worried for me.. after reading my blog.. I dun wan you to be sad. coz I am happy.
high time to blog...
yea.. i just thot its high time to blog already! din really know where to begin.. its been more than a month already.. right now, i'm kinda feeling tired, stressed, irritated, neglected and left out!
grr.. sounds very much like PMS syptoms! oh wells.. tt's probrably wad my friend would say.. forever he would assume everything tt happens at the end of the month ought to be that.. i'm pretty sick of hearing tt.. bascially if it was the past... i would have probrably give him a BIG tight Slap.. this is simply insulting to me! As if he ever would understand that. Just simply hate guys for tt manz! can't they be abit nicer?? abit more gentle? abit more understanding?????
gurls are naturally clicky.. they naturally are impossible to have more than just 2 of them. why be the 3rd party... this doesn't happened only in BGR k? believe me or not? oh craps.. I duno where to like.. throw my crap.. and the worst part is like.. blogging online is like written evidence.. cannot be erased... and somemore.. studying law.. makes me cannot deny the fact tt i duno anything. i dun wan to get into law of defamation.. yet i dun wan to like.. be cooped up.. wad can i do..
i duno why.. i've this crave to yell all the vulgarites at one shot! argghhhhh!!!!
nothing seems to be going my way... or am i holding too high a standard??
Should i even publish this????
grr.. sounds very much like PMS syptoms! oh wells.. tt's probrably wad my friend would say.. forever he would assume everything tt happens at the end of the month ought to be that.. i'm pretty sick of hearing tt.. bascially if it was the past... i would have probrably give him a BIG tight Slap.. this is simply insulting to me! As if he ever would understand that. Just simply hate guys for tt manz! can't they be abit nicer?? abit more gentle? abit more understanding?????
gurls are naturally clicky.. they naturally are impossible to have more than just 2 of them. why be the 3rd party... this doesn't happened only in BGR k? believe me or not? oh craps.. I duno where to like.. throw my crap.. and the worst part is like.. blogging online is like written evidence.. cannot be erased... and somemore.. studying law.. makes me cannot deny the fact tt i duno anything. i dun wan to get into law of defamation.. yet i dun wan to like.. be cooped up.. wad can i do..
i duno why.. i've this crave to yell all the vulgarites at one shot! argghhhhh!!!!
nothing seems to be going my way... or am i holding too high a standard??
Should i even publish this????
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