Tuesday, July 25, 2006
just me...
wooo.. just me.. i'm here! *waves*
nice to meet you.. thanks for reading my blog.. haa.
okok.. i need to get started le. Yesterday blogspot down.. i was so sad.. cos my msn also down.. even i sms also sms wrong person.. when something goes wrong.. is it got chain reaction de? hahaa.. =]
ok. since last week.. i've been catching up with different persons. these people are precious people in God's sight. i'm glad that i caught up with people. i'm glad that i'm still part of their lives. i'm glad that they still trust me. i'm glad that they did take time out for me. even though i have to give or sacrifice a bit. but it is worth it.
But i really feel very tired.. very very tired.. sometimes how i yearn God is just by my side.. so i can lean on Him. Sometimes i wish that he is more tangible.. so i can hug him to cry. Sometimes I wish that with Jesus as my lover.. I could be free of every pain!!
but wells.. things just seem so different lah! I have so many things to deal with each day. Tho i know God is right beside me.. but i really duno what to do!! I was so lost.. but i feel what God feels when he sees his child running away from Him.
I am so scared.. i am so scared that things will become irrepairable.. i'm so scared of so many things... and all these just made me more human...
you know.. i'm really dun wan to be a superwoman. although everyone is aiming to be one. I wished to be part of some great adventure like some heroine at times.. like seeing all the great evangelists.. all the beautiful women in history. But i know I have such a nurturing role to play. But i really doubt tt i'm playing it well. Cos it hurts to much to be 'mothering' others. just like they dun even recognise you as one.. and tt's what i did to my "mothers" that discipled me. so i know i'm just getting a taste of how they felt.
oh ok. but i still love them. you know how hard it is for a mother to not love her children? God says it is even harder for him to not love us. I love maybe not even a fraction of what God feels.. but i really felt the immense pain. how could it not be painful for GOd?
still feeling heavy hearted. I need a bigger heart!
nice to meet you.. thanks for reading my blog.. haa.
okok.. i need to get started le. Yesterday blogspot down.. i was so sad.. cos my msn also down.. even i sms also sms wrong person.. when something goes wrong.. is it got chain reaction de? hahaa.. =]
ok. since last week.. i've been catching up with different persons. these people are precious people in God's sight. i'm glad that i caught up with people. i'm glad that i'm still part of their lives. i'm glad that they still trust me. i'm glad that they did take time out for me. even though i have to give or sacrifice a bit. but it is worth it.
But i really feel very tired.. very very tired.. sometimes how i yearn God is just by my side.. so i can lean on Him. Sometimes i wish that he is more tangible.. so i can hug him to cry. Sometimes I wish that with Jesus as my lover.. I could be free of every pain!!
but wells.. things just seem so different lah! I have so many things to deal with each day. Tho i know God is right beside me.. but i really duno what to do!! I was so lost.. but i feel what God feels when he sees his child running away from Him.
I am so scared.. i am so scared that things will become irrepairable.. i'm so scared of so many things... and all these just made me more human...
you know.. i'm really dun wan to be a superwoman. although everyone is aiming to be one. I wished to be part of some great adventure like some heroine at times.. like seeing all the great evangelists.. all the beautiful women in history. But i know I have such a nurturing role to play. But i really doubt tt i'm playing it well. Cos it hurts to much to be 'mothering' others. just like they dun even recognise you as one.. and tt's what i did to my "mothers" that discipled me. so i know i'm just getting a taste of how they felt.
oh ok. but i still love them. you know how hard it is for a mother to not love her children? God says it is even harder for him to not love us. I love maybe not even a fraction of what God feels.. but i really felt the immense pain. how could it not be painful for GOd?
still feeling heavy hearted. I need a bigger heart!
// posted by Jearlie @ 11:16 PM 
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