Thursday, July 13, 2006
my friend
my reply
this journey is getting really cold and lonely..
its really not what i want..
cold... so cold...
sick so sick... i'm sick? flu and sore throat..
pests will nv leave you.. onli until i leave them
but is ok. tears are dried.
heart is cracking.. barely alive..
you want to know why and wat happened?
if you care enough. you will see this bah.
love is not saying that you love me when your actions dun tally..
i nv ever said that i'm perfect.
i nv ever said that i'm good.
i'm almost dead can. as good as that.
i feel like a 13 year old again.
looking for someone to identify with
like identity crisis..
all i wan is total acceptance.
God, you are is my only acceptance
i felt the ultimate betrayer will always come the closest people.
so i shall stay away. far far away....
**** things aside ****
yesterday.. i really am glad for gabriel.
seeing him going thru the gates just make me feel like.. i wanna be in his shoes.
i wanna leave this place.
and i'll definitely leave with different feeling from him.
i'll leave running away from reality.
i'll leave putting down everything that i've pursued for.
i'll leave throwing away all the broken pieces in the heart.
i'll leave with the most ultimate unforgiveness...
what is there to hold on to?
what is there to walk with?
what is there to trust?
what is there to .........
i had a dream.. or a daydream..
that one day i was having lunch with my classmates..
one gurl possessed by the demon walked over and said loudly to me.
" you think these people will really like you?"
my reply came, " my lord is not of this world, so i am not of this world. He says that they will hate you for they first hated me."
"you think that they are really going to listen to you? you think they will be thankful?"
my reply came, " i did not come to seek my own glory but the glory of God. whatever may come.. i'm just a messenger from God of love.."
my reply continued, "you evil thing, Get lost in the name of Jesus."
the demon left and the girl fainted into my arms. looking at her.. i said to her.. if you wan the demon to stay away from you.. you have to believe. and cling onto the name of Jesus.
what does this story say of me?
I'm the one that need to cling onto the name of Jesus. I am also the one eqiupped with the truth of the Lord.
so the question is...
which one am i more of....
tears* they just speak of my hurt. can they be of my joy?
this journey is getting really cold and lonely..
its really not what i want..
cold... so cold...
sick so sick... i'm sick? flu and sore throat..
pests will nv leave you.. onli until i leave them
but is ok. tears are dried.
heart is cracking.. barely alive..
you want to know why and wat happened?
if you care enough. you will see this bah.
love is not saying that you love me when your actions dun tally..
i nv ever said that i'm perfect.
i nv ever said that i'm good.
i'm almost dead can. as good as that.
i feel like a 13 year old again.
looking for someone to identify with
like identity crisis..
all i wan is total acceptance.
God, you are is my only acceptance
i felt the ultimate betrayer will always come the closest people.
so i shall stay away. far far away....
**** things aside ****
yesterday.. i really am glad for gabriel.
seeing him going thru the gates just make me feel like.. i wanna be in his shoes.
i wanna leave this place.
and i'll definitely leave with different feeling from him.
i'll leave running away from reality.
i'll leave putting down everything that i've pursued for.
i'll leave throwing away all the broken pieces in the heart.
i'll leave with the most ultimate unforgiveness...
what is there to hold on to?
what is there to walk with?
what is there to trust?
what is there to .........
i had a dream.. or a daydream..
that one day i was having lunch with my classmates..
one gurl possessed by the demon walked over and said loudly to me.
" you think these people will really like you?"
my reply came, " my lord is not of this world, so i am not of this world. He says that they will hate you for they first hated me."
"you think that they are really going to listen to you? you think they will be thankful?"
my reply came, " i did not come to seek my own glory but the glory of God. whatever may come.. i'm just a messenger from God of love.."
my reply continued, "you evil thing, Get lost in the name of Jesus."
the demon left and the girl fainted into my arms. looking at her.. i said to her.. if you wan the demon to stay away from you.. you have to believe. and cling onto the name of Jesus.
what does this story say of me?
I'm the one that need to cling onto the name of Jesus. I am also the one eqiupped with the truth of the Lord.
so the question is...
which one am i more of....
tears* they just speak of my hurt. can they be of my joy?
// posted by Jearlie @ 2:59 PM 
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